Women Ask Themselves, ‘How Can I Do This for One More Day?’ - The New York Times

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The value of women’s work, both paid and unpaid, has never been more apparent than during the coronavirus crisis. As Diane Coyle recently noted in The Times, women’s shift into paid employment was one of the great economic transformations in recent history, but it did not free women from their myriad unpaid roles as caregivers, homemakers and community volunteers. These six women talked to The Times about what it’s like to straddle that divide. Their quotes have been edited and condensed for clarity.

Naudia West is a case manger for vulnerable populations who has been in social services since 2010. She works two jobs, has two kids at home and just finished her master’s degree in social work.

Although my life was unstable and traumatic, I feel like that experience has molded me into the person I am today. I worked so hard to get to where I am. Once I transition into a social work role, my pay will increase and I won’t have to work at my second job as often. I often find myself telling my daughter things will be different financially when I move into another role. — Naudia West

Eli Howard, who has been a hairdresser since she was 19, lost her health insurance when she was laid off during the coronavirus crisis.

I think there’s just that idea that the amount of confidence that a woman can have coming into a job should be a little bit less than a man’s. That’s one thing I have always struggled with. I’m very confident with what I do, and sometimes I have to tone it down or make it look a little different so that I can get my raise or get a promotion. I always have to work a little bit harder. — Eli Howard

Dacia Grayber, a mother of four, works as a firefighter and paramedic in North Plain, Ore. She is running for the Oregon State House of Representatives.

There were times going through the fire academy when I would come home and take my son to preschool and just cry because it felt like, how can I do this for one more day? But it was necessary to make ends meet, and it’s a great job, and I’m really proud to have stuck with it and to be able to pass it on to the next generation of women in firefighting. — Dacia Grayber

Jenny Boykin at home with her daughters Gracie, left, and Sofi. She is a safety and training manager for a distribution center.

I think there’s this perception in society where the man is the one that fends for his family and then the woman does the housework and prepares the meals and so on, but it’s not like that anymore. But there is still the perception out there, which is challenging. — Jenny Boykin

Liza Cruz, a hotel worker, at home in Auburn, Wash., where she has been taking care of her elderly parents and helping her daughter, a high school student, with her digital learning.

I am the only breadwinner of the whole family. I think every day about how I’m going to get the payment for the mortgage, how can I feed my family. It’s pretty hard for me, but I decided to go back to work. It is a hard decision. If I had another choice I would stay home. But I don’t have unemployment yet. — Liza Cruz

Beth Blumklotz, a single mother, is used to doing the bulk of the household chores herself. Before the pandemic, she supported her family by working as a special education school bus driver, waitress and life coach.

Society sees school bus driving as nurturing work, not as a high-quality skill set. So I’ve learned that we have to argue, negotiate, debate and prove why we’re valuable.

When I was married I worked outside the home, and then I’d come home and I would cook, clean up the kitchen. I would do the yard more often, and I didn’t really think about it. I’ve been single for eight years, and I do feel fatigue doing everything here. The yard … I would like it to look better, but tell myself I can at least cut the grass. — Beth Blumklotz

Leah Nash is a photographer based in Portland, Ore.

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips. And here’s our email: letters@nytimes.com.

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Women Ask Themselves, ‘How Can I Do This for One More Day?’ - The New York Times
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